I'm sure that after I post this I'll have people telling me I'm nuts and I should be happy. But I'm not. I'm getting nervous.
I had an OB appt today. It was the first time I heard this baby's heart beat. It was a wonderful sound and I loved listening to it. It reminded me of being hooked up to all the monitors in the hospital when I was in labor with Taylor. That sound was wonderful to sleep to then, and it was wonderful to hear it this time.
There was one thing that was a little bit of an issue. I had my previous ob appt about a month ago. My weight was pretty much what it has been for the past like 5 years. It hasn't varied much, except for this one depression thing I went through and I gained a bit (but it went away without me doing anything except feeling better) and also when I gained with my daughter Taylor. Well, a couple weeks ago I had to go see an nurse and nutritionalist for a government program I'm on. My weight then was a little lighter than it had been a few weeks before, but I didn't think much of it... Difference in time of day and scale could account for that easily
At my appointment today, i had lost even more weight, only this time, it was a significant amount, enough for the nurse to ask me if I've been feeling okay (so, i know this question doesn't sound very shocking, but you should have seen the look on her face. It was like she thought I was doing this on purpose). I said yeah... I've been eating atleast 3 meals a day (usually some big helpings.) I've been able to keep things down a whole heck of alot better than I did with Taylor. In fact, I've only thrown up once in like 2 weeks... and it was last week... my nausea is going away. I've felt good, felt like I've been eating enough, only now I'm second guessing that.
Being such a small person in the first place, you're told that you need to gain a bit more. Now, I did end up gaining the exact 25 lbs with taylor the dr said was needed, but I didn't start gaining weight good until like a month before she was born. I lost in the beginning with her too, but it was from me throwing up like 5 times a day. And with her, I didn't lose in 3 or 4 months what I've lost this time in 2 weeks.
I am so nervous about this. It scares me to death to think that my body isn't ready to do this again, or that it's not doing what it's supposed to. I know that women just worry when they're pregnant. I know it's horomones. I'm just paranoid about my weight now. I'm gonna start stuffing my face and see if that helps.
I'll update you in a month on what the weight is doing. I hope by then I'm gaining instead of losing.