Monday, August 16, 2010

Family = Drama

I've decided that every family has DRAMA.

Another thing I've realized is that it is not usually in the immediate family.  
It's usually a bit extended.
Yes there are sometimes when issues come up in the individual family setting. 
But for the most part, the drama seems to come from a broader family scope.

In a family there is a husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, a couple, whatever.
Those two people come from different backgrounds.  
They have both lead 2 different lives.
They have both had 2 separate lifetimes of experiences,
and they both had developed 2 different views and values and ideals because of their life.

Those two people decided to join their lives together 
(in whatever way... from an LDS perspective, it's eternal marriage.  
For some it's simply living together.)
Usually those 2 people have similiar views and values and ideals,
hence why they want to spend their life with that person.

Sometimes it's easy at first.  Sometimes it's not.  There are always struggles and trials.  
These people are not the same.  

Usually these two people will want to have a family.
Whatever way that comes about... 
They have babies, or adopt babies, or foster babies.
Little people for this couple to teach, raise, pass on traditions to,
share values with, continue on in the family name, etc, etc, etc.

These little people grow up, and eventually start the whole process over again.
There are aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, great grandparents, great aunts, great uncles, second cousins, third cousins, fifth cousins once removed, and in-laws, forever and ever.

But in all that family, no two people are the same.  
No two couples are the same.
Everyone has their own way of doing things.
Everyone has their opinion on what's the best way or right way to do something.
Because someone's way may not be your way does not make it wrong, or bad, or off in anyway.
No one way or one choice is right for everyone.

And It's hard not to judge. 
It's hard to sit back and let other's make decision you may not think are right for them.
But those are their decisions to make.  Not mine.  Not anyone's but theirs.

This is usually where all the family drama comes in.
I'm NOT NOT NOT saying that either side of my family is DRAMATIC.
I'm not.  Please don't anyone be offended by this post.
I'm simply saying...
As a family, you care about your family.
You want them to make the best decisions they can.
But you can't make those decisions for them, no matter how badly you want to,
no matter how much more you think you "KNOW" about the situation.

This is such a hard concept for me.
I want to step in and tell everyone what they should be doing.
I get it from my dad ;)
But I can't do that.  And I honestly don't want to.

It's not the way our Heavenly Father wants things at all.
It's not the way he set up HIS plan.
All we can do as a loving family is sit back 
and pray that the decisions our loved ones make are right and correct for them.  
And if they are or not, we should support them through it all.

On the other side,
When our family is "butting in," telling us what we should be doing,
how we should be doing it,
when we should be doing it,
They're doing it out of love.
They want what is best and right for us.
They want to make sure we're taken care of.
They want to make sure we're following the "strait and narrow."
They're doing their job as our family.
We need to understand where their comments come from, 
take them into consideration, 
and make what choice is right for us.

Family is not meant to be about drama. 
It's meant to be about love.
It's meant to be a comfort,
a place to go where everyone knows all your flaws,
knows all your embarrassments,
knows you peed on a ladies front porch one Halloween,
is meant to be about forgiveness.
Family is Charity.
And I'm so blessed to be part in the two most wonderful families ever.
Yes there is still drama, but it's all outta love.

And how boring would families be without that drama anyways... 
They keep things interesting!

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